I'm so tired. It feels like I'm dragging my soul behind me, shackled to my ankles. My soul wrinkled and deflated, drags behind my heels sluggishly. I try coffee, but my soul resists, still lax at my feet. My eyes wince from the glow of the computer screen, the brightness too much for my weakened … Continue reading Exhausted State of Mind
Being Invisible
The problem with living as an invisible person is that you aren't actually invisible. People can still see you. They still require things of you. The first thing I do every morning after getting the kids off to school is turn off all the lights. Depending on the time of year, I also cut off … Continue reading Being Invisible
The Problem with Eating
The problem with eating is when you're having to battle a mental hurtle to consume the calories that it takes to live another day. I've been having a few "Bad eating" days. The bad part isn't junk food... it's the lack of wanting to eat at all. I'll be STARVING, look at our fully stocked … Continue reading The Problem with Eating
Riding the Cycle of Almost Getting It Done
My goals for 2023 were: Stream 4 days a week, publish book 4, write a blog once (maybe twice) a week, focus on my physical health. So far I've been focusing on my physical health, blogging when I remember, perpetually almost done with book 4 and I have streamed once in over a month. I've … Continue reading Riding the Cycle of Almost Getting It Done
What it’s Like
I'm tired. So tired. Exhausted on another level. My brain fogged over and my body decided it was time for eternal rest.... although I still breathe. I'm just so tired. I'm tired when I wake up, I'm tired when I lay down. I'm so tired that being tired is just an undercurrent of every other … Continue reading What it’s Like
Reframing Fitness as Physical Health for Mental Wellbeing
There is A LOT of toxicity in gym culture and by proxy, diet culture. So much so that I googled, "fitness memes" and it took me twenty minutes before I could find one that is humorous without being down right degrading to either the person in the picture or the reader. After years of working … Continue reading Reframing Fitness as Physical Health for Mental Wellbeing
Burn That Bridge
TW: Cheating Seventeen year old me tried to break up with my boyfriend so many times. He literally avoided me or straight-up ignored me while I told him to get out/never come back. I was hearing from many sources that he was hooking up with randos at his house on the weekends but then trying … Continue reading Burn That Bridge
Today is a ‘Bad Focus’ day.
I've been spiraling for well over a week now. To cope I've thrown myself into writing my fourth book, going out for a walk and incorporating meatless meals to the dinner rotation. Oh, and I'm counting ounces to make sure I am drinking enough water. I'm actually using my Fitbit for more than just a … Continue reading Today is a ‘Bad Focus’ day.
Hyperbolic Inertia: Emotional Dissonance
Yay, math and big words! I've already scared some of you away. I hope you actually stay though. I had this thought this morning while I was trying to accomplish fifteen things to get to my "I need to do this"... thing. (See, I'm not so dry and educational after all! Mouth gibberish is what … Continue reading Hyperbolic Inertia: Emotional Dissonance