Seventeen year old me tried to break up with my boyfriend so many times. He literally avoided me or straight-up ignored me while I told him to get out/never come back. I was hearing from many sources that he was hooking up with randos at his house on the weekends but then trying to live with me during the week just because we lived closer to his work.
He freaking lived with my family (his house had flooded during the 3 back-to-back hurricanes we had) and this man (he was 21) moved in and then refused to leave.
One day I finally made it clear to him that we were completely over and he stopped coming to my house during the week but he refused to get his shit out of my room.
So I packed his shit up and piled it all up so I could take a picture on a disposable film camera in 2005. I needed to remember this moment. The removal of his material life from my personal space.
This, my friends, is the level petty I am.
I drove this shit the 40mins from my house to his (his house had been long repaired by the time this picture was taken) and casually threw it all over my shoulder into his front yard.
Moral of the story: Just because you share a space with someone and/or help them out when they have nowhere else to go: DOES NOT guarantee that they will treat you properly or even respect you for it.
Be you, own your space and kick ANYONE out that doesn’t want to respect your boundaries. At the end of the day, it isn’t about them doing X-Y-Z to you— it’s about how you react to it. How you heal from it and not let repeat offenders back in your life.
Let me say that again: NOT EVERYONE DESERVES REDEMPTION!!
I would also like to add that about 7 years ago he reached out to me via Facebook with some “har har I’m so sorry I was a dick back then” by this time I was married for a few years and had a baby with said husband. All his apology did was make my stomach churn. I didn’t respond. I don’t accept his apology. Not out of spite for him, but for honoring 17 years old me instead. I won’t wipe his slate clean because he took advantage of me in ways I still haven’t recovered from completely. Not everyone deserves redemption.
Not everyone gets a “do-over” or even an acknowledgment of their sudden guilt. Some bridges are better left in flames. Just keep living your best life and keep your head held high!